Why does Bobby Flay suck?

Here’s our latest correspondence. Don’t worry, we’ll provide some translation to help you understand a few things.


From Food Network: “We really enjoyed working with each of you.”
Translation: “You foodie types are a pain in the ass. You need a life…”


From Food Network: “Unfortunately, your recipe doesn’t fit into the show plan this season.”

Translation: “Your cooking is way to complex for our dumbed-down television audience. We need someone who does not enjoy cold crisp beer…but we do need someone who always craps roses. Yum-O.”


From Food Network: “We hope that you’re able to tune in to watch our upcoming season beginning this May.”

Translation: “We don’t want to be associated with you, though we still want you to bolster our falling numbers and have you watch our mindless babble…”


From Food Network: “If you’re interested in hearing about upcoming…”

Translation: “If you want more spam on your email about cheap kitchen items or you would like to immerse yourself in made up words like ‘bam’ or ‘delish’ or ‘table-scape’…Here’s mine: Barf-o.”


We will continue to drink and not be deterred by this denial email…and after this post, we probably won’t be on Food Network.

Best part? We all had lotsa fun doing the video. Awesome help from Wife #1, Six5Creative, SwensonslovesJosh, Sn00zie, CurtisBowza, KWattz, and NutJob! More than I can say for those EVOO posers.

Flay can suck it.

Reporting live from QuarryLaneFarms and cooking in a real kitchen…