If you say Puerto Rico…most often times people ask if you had the famous Pina Colada. After all, the birthplace of this drink is touted as the nectar of the Caribbean-served to all movie stars and uber celebrities while vacationing in Puerto Rico. The official beverage of Puerto Rico since 1978. So we had to explore this island myth.   

After watching No Reservations, I don’t think we will be going to the Barrachina. Thanks Bourdain.   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5p1Mbi-5AU   

So we researched and found that the Caribe Hilton at their Beachcomber Bar has the earliest actual claim to fame in 1954. Even Wikipedia says. So we were off to the Caribe Hilton for true authenticity!  

Sadly, once onscene, we found that Hilton types tore that specific bar down and built two others that house the same original recipe. Our crew, fresh from a several mile walk, was parched – and yes, if you don’t keep our line cooks sauced….they get crabby. Not good for anyone.  

Description, history, and a full description on the menu? Nice.    

$13 Pina Colada?!?!?? WTF?

 That will be $13. What the wot?!?!?! For a Pina Colada? This better be the best MF Colada ever.  

 Well, at least the view is awesome.  

Our plump waitress waddles over to our table and takes our order. We hedge bets if this will be the best Pina Colada ever. Personally, I bet that this will be the best Pina Colada I have ever had…cause I don’t drink these fruitty-ass drinks.  

We cautiously await our drinks as we bask in the sun, listening to the waves brush the shores…the gentle lull puts us all at PuertoRician peace.  

25 minutes later, a different dumpy waitress, trots over with our drinks.    

The Original Pina Colada - $13

Hello Pina Colada: Medicare taste, candy sweet beyond belief, made by the 17-year-old bartender, no umbrella, no big boy cup, no glassware..Recipe for success huh?   

At least have a prostitute stripper hot Girls Gone Wild chick serving it. It would help ease the pain of $13! Ahem-If I remember in college, we paid $5 for a red solo cup that we could guarantee unlimited beer (ah, those were the days). This Hilton cup was at least half the size of my prized collegiate solo cup. As all the girls say, “Size matters.” 

But the view? Worth it.  

In summary, we all agree…The biggest waste of $13. Original or Unoriginal. Find something else to do while in Puerto Rico.  

Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.  

Reporting live from QuarryLaneFarms…