Day 3 of the celebration of July being National Hot Dog Month! #HD2010.  

Today’s report is from the east side where Tucky’s in Mayfield Heights burns their store front colors along Mayfield Rd. The colors sure are….bright. This local chain restaurant has other stores in Parma and downtown Cleveland claiming to be “More than just a hotdog…” Beats me on what more they really are as the menu appears to be a burgers, hot dogs, and beverages.  

Whomever did the artwork for this place was either high or lives next door to Perry Nuclear Power Plant. Or both.  

What's the name of this place again?

 

Lets get to the meat of things shall we?  

“Chicago: Skinless old Vienna hotdog on Poppy Seed Bun, with Sports Peppers, Emerald Relish, Diced Onions, Tomato Wedge, Pickle Spear, Yellow Mustard, and Celery Salt – $3.50”  

Few problems even before the hot dog arrives:  

1. WTF? I want some skin! (#thatswhatshesaid). A CLASSIC Chicago hot dog has a natural casing on it so that when you bite, there’s a distinctive “snap”. When you bite into a skinless hot dog, you get mush. I equate this to an #epicfail as the snap is what makes the hot dog.  

Another #epicfail

 

2. Isn’t it “Sport” peppers? God only knows that Cleveland peeps can only handle one “sport” at a time. Lets not confuse our foodies.  

One "sport" at a time please

 

3. Yo Wizard of Oz, it’s not “Emerald Relish”? Just call it neon green relish like the rest of the real world. What’s next? “Chartreuse relish”?  

Just call it neon green will ya?

 

Regardless of skin, sport(s), or Emerald…here’s Tucky’s Chicago Dog.  

Tucky's Chicago

 

First off, I appreciate the ginormous pickle…just saying it eclipses the whole dog itself. I also give major props for the poppy-seed bun. Most other places, they forgo the poppy-seed bun in lieu of a generic bun. Kudos on that.  

Close up, I also appreciate the full coverage of celery salt on my Chicago Dog too – well proliferated.  

Lions and Tigers and Celery Salt - Oh my!

 

But upon the first bite, I found another problem. The bun was crusty on the bottom and soft on the top. Seriously. If you’re gonna go through all the trouble of getting the poppy-seed bun, then take care of them! Depressed again talking about this skinless mess.  

Chicago control, we have a problem...

 

Now I know what you’re saying, “how can you prove that the bun was crusty and inedible” right? Check this out.  

Hard bun = guaranteed blowout

 

Now, like everyone else, we appreciate hard buns. Hot dog aficionados and foodies alike – will attest that this kind of blow out would not happen if the bun was semi soft. Clearly, the bun be rigid.  

“Cleveland: Natural casing smoked hotdog, potato and cheese Pierogi with Stadium Mustard – $3.50”  

Frozen pierogis with your hot dog?

 

Hometown favorite, I figured they would at least use fresh pierogis to serve this to their legions of Bohemian patrons with Slovenian roots dating back to Sokolowski’s University Inn. Nice char on the hot dog – let’s try that on all sides now.  

I prefer my Pierogi with carmelized onions…so perhaps grilled onions would be better than 3 gallons of mustard. Speaking of mustard, nice Cleveland touch in using the Indians Stadium Mustard. #HappyinCLE.  

BTW–frozen pierogis end up looking like this.  

A frozen pierogi in Cleveland?

 

Not sexy and not cool especially when you call this a “Cleveland” hot dog. So please send the frozen pierogis to Miami.  

“Kansas City: Natural casing smoked hotdog, Amish creamy Coleslaw and BBQ Sauce – $3.50”  

Kansas City with Amish creamy coleslaw

 

Kudos on the natural casing! Never had Amish coleslaw vs regular coleslaw, but it was “amishly” good. Nice mix on this one. Not much on it, but I’d order it again.  

“Detroit Coney Island: Natural casing smoked hotdog, Coney Island New York Chili and Diced Onions with Yellow Mustard – $3.50”  

How can Coney Island get along with Detroit and New York City? Its like the cast of the Real Housewives of New York and the cast of Jersey Shore fighting over Kid Rock. Yeeeish – Snooki and Kid Rock. Note: I would NEVER buy that video.  

Detroit Coney Island Hot Dog

 

Despite being geographically challenged, this was the best hot dog of the bunch.  

We love natural casing. The Chili was more of a meat sauce – and on a hot dog (kinda like Bens Chili Bowl in DC), this is the winner-winner-hot-dog-dinner. Love the haphazard cuts of onions (sorta) and the mad mustarding…but it all worked. Order again.  

I know I know, all you can think about it this:  

Snookems

 

And this.  

Kid MF Rock

 

Hahahaha  

Who doesn’t love writing about hot dogs!?!?!?!!?  

Rumor has it, MapRoom has a Hot Dog menu to debut today in Cleveland (Thanks @caralageson @srouser @MapRoomBar). Hmmmmm.  

Here’s the running tally so you can compare/contrast on this extraordinary journey of hot dog redonklousness…aka “HD2010″:    

Steve’s Hot Dog Lunch Cheddar hot dog = 5/10    

Steve’s Hot Dog Lunch Mustard onion hot dog = 6/10    

Steve’s Hot Dog Lunch Chili onion hot dog = 5/10    

Costco’s Hot Dog combo = 7/10   

Tucky’s Chicago = 4/10  

Tucky’s Cleveland = 3/10  

Tucky’s Kansas City = 7/10  

Tucky’s Detroit Coney Island = 8/10  

Note: The running list will be published to accompany all dogs posts to help you embrace the full effect of “HD2010″.    

Of course more hot dog reviews to come…just check back tomorrow.     

Reporting live from QuarryLaneFarms

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