Yours Truly has been a standard local chain restaurant with such great foods as a Monte Cristo, Not-so Fries, and other regional favorites. 

Last night, I made a mistake and had their September special of “BONELESS Buffalo Wings”. Blah. 

“Buffalo wing style, sliced and uniquely marinated chicken breast, served with our homemade gorgonzola dressing and crunch celery sticks.” Extra blah. 

"BONELESS" Buffalo Wings

 

Dear Yours Truly, be glad that September is ending as this was terrible “special”. 

Problem-1: They look like aardvark testicles. I say that because Yours Truly call these things “wings”. WTF are they? Even a Chicken McNugget looks more like a wing compared to these. 

Problem-2: They are burnt (ie the carbon black pieces that dot the outside of these “sliced” pieces). And since you are saucing drenching these in sauce, you probably ought to say “burnt and drenched in mediocre dish wing sauce”. If Foghorn Leghorn had bloody bowel movement…this is what it would look like. 

bloody stools...

 

Problem-3: These tasted bland and dry. Breasts are juicy. 

dry mushy "chicken"

 

Problem-4: They were extremely mushy. Hell, I’ve had poi or nato with more body tha this piece of chicken. 

If the intent was to “uniquely” marinate the pieces, then you’ve accomplished it – it tastes uniquely like my marinated testicles.#ballz. 

worthless breading

 

Problem-5: The breading. It has as much chance as a pregnant nun. It was soggy and didn’t stay on. Basically like a 8 day old scab, it “uniquely” just sloshed off. Eewwwww. 

Homemade gorgonzola dressing? Just because you add a few chunks of gorgonzola cheese to ranch dressing doesn’t make it “gorgonzola dressing”. 

Thank god you didn’t screw up the celery sticks. Did you really need to put “crunchy”? C’mon-who serves soft celery sticks? 

I will continue to stick with the safety net of my Monte Cristo. 

Your safe bet at Yours Truly - Monte Cristo

 

In a town packed of Foodies, superb restaurants and world-renowned Chefs/authors/writers/bloggers, you should be ashamed to serve this. 

Dear Yours Truly: You’re on probation for bad chicken. 

Bad chicken thanks to Yours Truly

 

Reporting live from QuarryLaneFarms

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