After watching TV host Chef Anthony Bourdain talk about cooking bacon naked….I have some advice for all of you: Don’t do it.

Bourdain reminisces about naked bacon making

It may sound like a god sent hangover idea…or still inebriated easy idea…or a post hump good idea…


…but it isn’t.

Here at QuarryLaneFarms, we have tiered a few clothing optional examples to help you (in case you just like being naked). We have also color coded the response (like a stop light) in hopes that you will remember to keep safety in mind.

Green: Safe for operations

Thanks to Marisa Miller and FHM in aiding in our safety message as she hits several personal protective measures here:

1. Gloves to protect her hands. Also note the brite pink color to aid in rapid identification in sudsy water.

2. It is inherent that you get wet working the dishwashing station…so her mesh safety vest provides her breathability with maximum drying surface area.

3. Saving the Earth water by filling the sink for presoak – NOT running the faucet wide open. She’s being green (no pun intended).

Marisa in the green (Pic cred-Cartel Management Inc)

Excellent example of mobility and workstation ease at the dishwashing station!

Yellow: Caution during operations

Marisa, again your safety measures amaze everyone.

1. Notice that Marisa has placed her hot pot on a tea towel to prevent slippage.

2. Marisa has moved the pot of boiling pasta away from the stove.

3. Marisa is using a slotted spoon to drain the pasta away from her body.

Slight caution for a few splashing hot water drops from your pasta pot as you transfer over to your already plated pesto.

Caution with pasta Marisa (Pic cred-Cartel Management Inc)

Thanks for the help Marisa.

I’d eat your…pesto.

Red: Don’t do it – You’ll get hurt.

Danger Will Robinson! Danger!

1. She has a spatula in hand…therefore this Chef is frying something. This is dangerous due to splatter factor. Obviously, she’s excited to fry…but she won’t be too excited after her trip to the hospital’s burn center.

2. At least tie your drawstrings on your pants.

3. Stretching at your HOT workstation WHILE cooking is not a good idea. You should stretch pre-shift.

4. Her bellybutton jewelry could get caught in something. Ouch.

Code Red: She's a good idea, but what's frying in the griddle is not a good idea

This one is like Code Bacon – dangerous! Like splatter dangerous.

I’m pretty sure Top Chef Contestant Chef Jennifer Carroll or Food Network’s Giada DeLaurentiis would agree: safety first!

Make good decisions in the kitchen folks!

Reporting live from QuarryLaneFarms