Since Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen Top Chef All-Stars reunion was last night, I decided to break the post into four parts. This will allow you to equally pee your pants for the next four days. If you haven’t watched it yet, do it now.

(Part 1 of 4)

Crazytown hot mess Chef Jennifer Carroll on her outburst.

Yes, Chef Jennifer Carroll may have let her emotions get the best of her. But what Chef doesn’t? Chefs all over the world will fight to the death protecting their dishes.

Danger!!@#$@#%@#$!@

Even French Father Chef Eric Ripert apologized for Jennifer’s behavior on his blog. Ahhhh yes, Chef Ripert – isn’t it so comforting to zee him say no…with zat zexy French accent? Fix your beret bitch.

I am not amused by Judge Gail Simmons‘ “courageous” one-liner – which I’m sure didn’t make Chef Carroll’s gigantic balls feel any better.

In fact, most recent, I was pissed at someone who called my death row meal – gross. I would have stabbed her in the neck had we been in a dark alley. Round-1…fight!

Regardless, in our humble opinion – BravoTV sent Chef Carroll home too soon. This is a competition about food – not ratings. Our opinion? We’d rather fight to the death with Chef Carroll than puss out with our finger in our ass like Jamie did.

Angelo’s avocado in his pants.

Chef UnchaUncha

I didn’t hear any club musica playing #unchauncha.

Despite being on BravoTV, this is NOT a fashion show.

This is a chef competition – Grow up Angelo. Stop shopping at Forever 21 cause I don’t ever want to see your avocado.

Oh that’s right, in your losing season, you already exposed your bare ass on BravoTV. That’s a sure sign you’re gay.

Padma-who would you like to go on a date with?

Did hostess Padma Lakshmi say she wanted to go on a date with Elia or Casey?

I wish I had these...jars...

I just wet myself.

Padma, you just moved up on our list.

Bromance: Richard and Fabio sitting in a tree…

or

Bromance: Mike and Angelo sitting in a tree…

Bromance

Give or receive….light sabers…..crossing the streams….Broke Back Kitchen…Either way, it’s hilarious.

Oh yeah….BravoTV.

Well, part-2 tomorrow. (In your best Southwest Airlines voice) You are now free to change your pants.

Reporting live from QuarryLaneFarms…

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