Across the country we go…this time, ending up in beautiful Portland, Oregon!

Despite the rumors you hear, Portland is a pretty chill city with super weird people here.

Catching up to a bunch of friends from college, we opted for the most collegiate thing around – the Habanero fritters!

Which eventually brought up memories of shots….case races….century club…hijacking christmas trees…printers hanging out of windows…TP main street from the comfort of your own bed…”Joel, grab my medical book!”…planting a soda machine in the elevator…flooding the basement of Harper…Epoxying the RA into his room until he cried….pretty typical stuff huh?

Super Cliffo! He's the kinda superhero that's an underwear only kinda superhero

Since we’re on Oregon: Goldschlager….2 for 1……Frickin Melissa.

GOBU!

Off we go…to Salvador Molly’s Sun Stop Cafe.

Al fresco dining please!

You may have heard of this place on Man vs Food since they are the ones with a “beat the heat-Great balls of fire” contest every year which pits normal human beings to wolf  down all five Habanero fritters with all de sauce. Do it and you get your picture on the wall and then a free t-shirt.

Check out the Adam Richman on Man vs Food video here.

Before our Habanero fritters appeared, we schnacked on their onion rings with dipping sauce and crab balls with typical salsa/sour cream sauce.

Onion rings with dippage

and

Crab cake balls

But then the main event….

Key the intro Darth Vader music….

These are the droids you’re looking for!

Dangerously innocent...terror awaits!

Yes, we decided to save our buttholes from disrepair later…so we only ordered three. One for each of us.

There are MF chunks of Habanero in the deep-fried balls which the sauce slathered on the bottom of the dish.

Can you see the chunks of habeneros!??!!??! Mayday! Mayday!

Look…

I’d tell you that they were perfectly cooked, but my mouth was on fire.

I’d tell you that it was salty savory, but my mouth was on fire.

I’d tell you that they were fried G-B-D, but my mouth was on fire.

At this point, my ass sent a text message to my brain and warned of the upcoming fanfare to follow that evening.

The NORMAL dinner came and their Jerk Chicken was slid in front of me. Gladly appreciated the spinach, but sadly it did not quell the fiery Habanero.

Jamacan Jerk Chicken

Again, I’d like to tell you that the chicken was Jamaican as rasta can be…but I’d be lying to you.

My mouth was on fire!

We blabbed the night away about Wyckoff Hall and traded collegiate shenanigans stories as we regained taste and feeling in our mouths…about 3 hours later.

Despite my 6 visits with a man about a horse later that night, this was a most pleasurable evening with old collegiate friends.

Holding on for dear life!

His love for John Deere makes every city guy like me a little queasy.

Deere me baby!

But hey-if he ever needed an extra nipple, I’d be there in a heartbeat.

Tune in Tokyo!

Reportedly Mer’s got a blog, but I’ve never seen it.

Reporting live from QuarryLaneFarms…

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