Cruising in Columbus, we found this relatively new progressive coffee-house called Zanzibar located at 740 E. Long St in Columbus, Ohio.

What the flock is a progressive coffee-house? Is that like a progressive stripper…aka nursing school student?

Heloooooooooooooooooooooo Nurse!

Oh yeah, their “Free WiFi” doesn’t work….FRAK!

No internets for you!

Oh why not…it’s 12noon, rather empty coffee-house, and I wanted a sandwich.

Hi, I would like a Reuben please…sorry we’re out.

Um, I would like a BLT please…sorry we’re just out of bacon.

Maybe…..I would like a Chicken club wrap please…sorry it’ll be another 35 minutes before I have more chicken mix

Er, I would like a Big E please…we only have the smaller lunch special…but it comes with chips

Grrrrreat.

The Big E: Oven roasted turkey and roast beef between whole wheat bread topped with provolone, cheddar loaded with red onions, mayo, lettuce, tomato and Dijon mustard.

Welcome to 3rd grade...here's your lunch

Nice grill marks on the whole wheat bread.

I opted for the mexican version of Strawberry Crush since my food looked like a 3rd graders meal w/ plain Lay’s chips.

BTW-I don’t think the toothpicks are necessary cause those small sandwiches ain’t running away.

The Big E = The Big BS

I see no provolone. Do you?

I see no roast beef. Do you?

I see no loaded red onions. Do you?

Basically, I don’t see myself eating here ever again. Do you?

Best part of the meal? Mexican Jarritos aka Strawberry Crush.

So–if you ever find yourself in Columbus, in the King Lincoln District, just drive away.

Reporting live from QuarryLaneFarms…

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