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Since Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen Top Chef All-Stars reunion was Wednesday night, I decided to break the post into four parts. This will allow you to equally pee your pants for the next four days. If you haven’t watched it yet, do it now.

This is Part 2 of 4 (Part 1 of 4 here).

Antonia and her tarp-like underwear

Top Chef contestant Antonia Lofaso is a fashion disaster. Unless its cool to show your bra strap (hello Britney Spears) – I don’t think BravoTV wanted you to represent.

Antonia's outfit purchased at Dumpy McGees Department Store

Several occasions the camera panned to see your tarp-like off white underwear frothing peeking out from your pants. Woof! If you’re gonna show some sexy time, at least make it worth a glance.

One piece = bad news

Now I’m not saying that you have to be the sexiest Chef to win…

Not hot....

…but at least keep your dumpy mommy bra and granny panties tucked in.

Chef Antonia knawing on a...piece of meat...er....bone

If you as me – In or out? I’m out.

Hanging with Fabio-except on Halloween

This dude needs to dial it down a notch….or notche. He’s making my seducing man skills look bad.

Yeah, he's my fan favorite (not big bird)

As a dude, I’d hang with him. Seems to be fun and we could get him to do all kinds of crazy things.

And of course, all….all….I mean ALL the women love him.

Damn you Fabio!

Yep-I’d hang with Fabio. Honestly, I’d probably end up getting alot of the fugly tag-along friends, but hey-he seems like a good dude.

What the.....

Except on Halloween.

oh god....brrruurufsfsldjfhwkerjhqew

I just threw up in my mouth.

Pansy Jamie Lauren hates children

Why do you not enjoy children? Are you evil? Or is it because you’re the same height as every child?

Jamie's view of all children

Stitches? You are a pansy.

I’ve had three stitches and I went directly back to work and I didn’t need a lollypop.

NO SOUP FOR YOU.

Wuss out

You are not a Top Chef.

Fan favorite Carla is really Big Bird

Congrats on the Fan Favorite vote.

Carla = Big Bird

There I said it.

Big Bird = Carla

No kidding huh? I know you agree.

Hootie………………………….

Part-3 tomorrow….aka Riperts breasts.

Reporting live from QuarryLaneFarms…

Is it safe to talk about TopChef All-Stars yet?!?!?

Chef Blaise vs Chef Isabella

Has everyone watched the final episode already on BravoTV? DVR already? TiVOed? YouTube?

Head-to-head: Meatball vs Professor

 Hurry the flock up so we can publish our commentary on it!

(In your best Padma voice) Your time….starts now.

Reporting live from QuarryLaneFarms…

For those of you on a diet, we suggest doing this.

 

Robert Irvine and Paula Dean (Food Network hosts)

This picture was sent from Chef Anthony Bourdain (Les Halles) to birthday boy Chef Eric Ripert (Le Bernardin).

Even Guy Fieri wouldn’t do this for ratings. Robert and Paula…sitting in the tree…..

BravoTV and the cast from Top Chef All-Stars are collectively depressed since they JUST had Paula Dean as their featured guest host.

Paula, Padma, Tom, and Chef John Besh from the last episode of Top Chef All Stars

Thanks to the “SoBe Food & Wine Festival 2011” for the picture…clearly should be renamed as “Fugly TV personalities that should impale themselves in the eye with rusty dildos”.

Barf.

Is this considered food porn?

Barf. Barf.

Reporting live from QuarryLaneFarms…

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