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So we decided to serve Peking Duck.

That’s right…we said it. Peking. Frickin. Duck.

Wipe your mouth cause I know you just drooled.

So to aid in your own kitchen explorations of exotic foods, here’s our 21-step-by-step guideto help you bust out your own Peking Duck.

Step-1: Like any good NE Ohioian-we opted for the West Side Market.

One 5.5 lbs duck preeze

Step-2: Rinse duck. Make sure you clean out the gizzards, giblets, etc…No waste-use those nasty bits for stock in soups.

Cold water rinse for ducky

Step-3: Dunkadunka in hot boiling water for a few minutes.

A quick blanching

Step-4: Let rest/sit on a stand. #ouch

Poultry stand...in the butt

Step-5: Setup improvised hanging system…and by that we mean get two metal clothes hangers, bend it like the illegitimate abortion clinic, and slide it through the duck carcass. Rig it up so it can hang.

If McGyver can do it, so can you!

Step-6: Hang up and set fan and timer for 12 hours….room temperature. No seriously…hang at room temperature.

The initial hanging of duck

After 12 hours, you may see some bleeding. That’s good because your duck is exsanguinating all the moisture from inside. By the skin tightening, it intensifies the flavors of the duck. #muncha

Ewwwwwww

Skin should be tightening up all over and slowly drying out. Get the memo cause it’s clearly enhancing the flavors.

Duck neck fat...awesome

Step-7: Meanwhile, start to prep your “sauce” which should consist of water, thick soy sauce, honey, vinegar, and salt.

Rolling boil of duck glazing sauce

Step-8: Glaze/pour over duck.

Bath x4 preeze

We’d recommend four baths in the sauce.

Grab your rubber duckie cause it's bath time!

Step-9: Fan on and hang for another 12 hours.

Breezy ain't it?

Step-10: After 24 hours of hanging and fan drying, you should start to see a nice golden brown tan setting in. Skin should be slightly tight. This is good.

Hanging out again...

Step-11: Preheat your oven at 375.

Step-12: In roasting pan w/ water bottom and chunks of garlic (cause who doesn’t like garlic). Water bottom will also assist in regulating your oven temperature too.

Prep before the oven...

Step-13: Duck in rack breast down for 60 minutes. You should see lots of the duck fat drippings into the water below. Without the water in the bottom of the drip pan, you’d likely have flareups and set your home smoke detector off. Always practice safe ducking.

Quack

Step-14: Flip in rack to breasts up (heh heh) 60 minutes. (Bonus points for using rack and breasts in the same sentence).

Quack Quack

Step-15: Flip in rack breasts down for 20 minutes

Quack Quack Quack

Step-16: Flip in rack breasts up for final 20 minutes.

Quack Quack Quack Quack

Step-17: Hang the duck back up.

Preeze hang your duck back up

No seriously….Hang your duck back up. You’ll need to be hands free for the next step involving lotsa fire.

It's about to get crazy...

Step-18: Break out your best blow torch (We’d recommend your best torch from Harbor Freight or a roofer flamer thingy from Home Depot. Each is about $35-$50).

Just one example of necessary blow torch

The bigger the flame, the better (That’s what he said).

hhhaaaaaayyyy

Step-19: Blow torch your duck.

Blow torch the duck...That's an order!

I’m sure there are a few Doubting Debbies out there because this part involves the use of a blow torch indoors. Well, we don’t exactly have a 3000-year-old Han oven to roast duck…so this would be a good option for modern houses.

Blow torch is essential to the crisp savory skin

You MUST crisp the skin to get that G-B-D (Golden-Brown-and-Delicious). It should slightly bubble and pop when moving your blow torch over all outsides of the duck.

Crisp skin - candy shell-like: G-B-D

And yes, the skin should be thin and crispy. I’d say almost candy-shell-like. Best test method? Tap it with your fingernail.

The Peking Duck skin is THE savory candy

Step-20a: Observe your local fire department extinguishing your house which was on fire from your bazerker torching.

or

Step-20b: Marvel at your beautiful Peking duck.

Step-21: Let duck rest for 15 minutes.

Service? Well, there are a ton of options.

Some Chinese (mostly rich ones) love to serve just crispy crunchy skin, green onions, and hoisin sauce on mu shu wrappers.

Roll em

Some Chinese (Cantonese) love to serve skin, duck meat, green onions, and hoisin sauce on a traditional steamed white bun (our preference).

Or you can just serve the duck w/ hoisin sauce and rice.

Or serve it with cake noodle…aka”dack neu-dole”.

Or you can use ALL the parts of the duck to make other great Chinese dishes too.

So, what did we learn today….Sorry, too much No Reservations (@NoReservations). No matter how you serve it, Peking Duck is truly fit for a special occasion because of the prolonged prep time. Do yourself a favor Wang Chung and channel your inner Sun Yat Sin to make a Peking Duck. And yes, it will also get you some blow torch time too.

Reporting live from QuarryLaneFarms…

Since Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen Top Chef All-Stars reunion was Wednesday night, I decided to break the post into four parts. This will allow you to equally pee your pants for the next four days. If you haven’t watched it yet, do it now.

This is Part 2 of 4 (Part 1 of 4 here).

Antonia and her tarp-like underwear

Top Chef contestant Antonia Lofaso is a fashion disaster. Unless its cool to show your bra strap (hello Britney Spears) – I don’t think BravoTV wanted you to represent.

Antonia's outfit purchased at Dumpy McGees Department Store

Several occasions the camera panned to see your tarp-like off white underwear frothing peeking out from your pants. Woof! If you’re gonna show some sexy time, at least make it worth a glance.

One piece = bad news

Now I’m not saying that you have to be the sexiest Chef to win…

Not hot....

…but at least keep your dumpy mommy bra and granny panties tucked in.

Chef Antonia knawing on a...piece of meat...er....bone

If you as me – In or out? I’m out.

Hanging with Fabio-except on Halloween

This dude needs to dial it down a notch….or notche. He’s making my seducing man skills look bad.

Yeah, he's my fan favorite (not big bird)

As a dude, I’d hang with him. Seems to be fun and we could get him to do all kinds of crazy things.

And of course, all….all….I mean ALL the women love him.

Damn you Fabio!

Yep-I’d hang with Fabio. Honestly, I’d probably end up getting alot of the fugly tag-along friends, but hey-he seems like a good dude.

What the.....

Except on Halloween.

oh god....brrruurufsfsldjfhwkerjhqew

I just threw up in my mouth.

Pansy Jamie Lauren hates children

Why do you not enjoy children? Are you evil? Or is it because you’re the same height as every child?

Jamie's view of all children

Stitches? You are a pansy.

I’ve had three stitches and I went directly back to work and I didn’t need a lollypop.

NO SOUP FOR YOU.

Wuss out

You are not a Top Chef.

Fan favorite Carla is really Big Bird

Congrats on the Fan Favorite vote.

Carla = Big Bird

There I said it.

Big Bird = Carla

No kidding huh? I know you agree.

Hootie………………………….

Part-3 tomorrow….aka Riperts breasts.

Reporting live from QuarryLaneFarms…

I realize that eating fried chicken did not make us warm yesterday.

Thanks to @srouser for sending us to “Mr. Wonderful’s” in Willoughby Hills, our visit to this single room takeout counter did not help satisfying our dream of the magical Chicken and Waffles.

Mr. Wonderful's Chicken and Waffles (3n2)

Yep-it’s called “Mr. Wonderful’s” and it’s in Willoughby Hills.

Yes, it's really called "Mr. Wonderful's"

Initial thoughts? They must contract with a mini-chicken farm cause I haven’t seen these kinds of tiny breasts since 7th grade.

Small breasts, thighs, etc...

Maybe I should continue to hold out on the California institution known as Roscoe’s Chicken-n-Waffles.

BUT – we were quite surprised by the “Sweet Baby Jesus” sauce.

Of course the full review soon.

Keep the bojangles warm kids…I’m thinking of our own Cream of chicken wild rice and mushrooms tonight.

Reporting live from QuarryLaneFarms…

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