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Dear Chef Eric Ripert (@ericripert)-

Apparently my invitation to the 2012 Cayman Cookout was lost in the mail…again. In hopes to better my chances for 2013, I present to you the following:

1. I was the first one who retweeted your favorite picture from yesterday.

#Sexytime = @NoReservations

2. @OttaviaBourdain tweeted and said she liked our post about her (check her out!).

Ottavia Bourdain - I'd hit that - HAWT (Photo court Splash)

3. Oui, J’adore le poisson homme Justo Thomas.

Worth his weight in gold

So… I’ll be waiting for the invitation for 2013.

If needed, I'll gladly do some truffle shuffles for entertainment

I got my board shorts and aloha shirt ready.

Reporting live from QuarryLaneFarms…

It’s the year of the Rabbit!

Kung Hee Fat Choy - Year of the Rabbit

So in honor of the new year, we wanted to bring you….well…um…err…rabbit!

Little bunny Fufu hopping through the forrest...

Heh heh heh…Feast your eyes on the best rabbit I’ve ever had!

Rabbit Paillard with baby arugula orange fennel, olives, whole grain mustard sauce

This perfectly prepared hoppity hop hop was perfectly crusted G-B-Dee-frickin-licious. Lightly dressed arugula gracing the top with random slices of orange provided wifs of citrus – honestly, this entree is pure perfection. The peaceful whole grain mustard sauce base was rich and beautiful.

Now, I realize that I lured you in with Chinese New Year stuff and truth be told, the term “paillard” is a French technique that uses thinly sliced meats in fast cooking. Too bad. Life sucks and things change.

Hold up...We got a Situation!

Repeat after me, “Rabbit Paillard with baby arugula orange fennel, olives, whole grain mustard sauce…”

The best rabbit I’ve ever had….period.

Served by #sexy Top Chef Contestant Jennifer Carroll (@ChefJenCarroll).

Miss Hotness herself - Chef Jennifer Carroll

So if you haven’t gone, you should go: 10 Arts by Eric Ripert with Chef de Cuisine Jennifer Carroll in Philadelphia, PA.

BTW-Save yourself the agony and get a double order of warm pretzls too.

See ya MoFos!

Oh, how is Chef Carroll IRL? Scary…like kitchen is quiet…no one talks except for her….like change your Underoos scary. But that’s another story.

Reporting live from QuarryLaneFarms…

Yo Ripert-

Forget that Bourdain guy (@NoReservations) – His pimp hand isn’t as strong as yours. 

Greetings!

…And thanks to Chef Ripert (@ericripert) for posting this picture.

Chef Eric Ripert's best day ever

Cooking on the beach sounds like IS truly the best idea ever. #caymancookout

Bikinis, cooking, and boobs…particularly Top Chef Jennifer Carroll – HOTNESS! Seriously, how can you concentrate?!??!?!?!

Major man points attained with your cigar, but your flaming-homo coconut fufu drink brings you back down. Oh yeah, you’re French so it’s OK to be a bit on the fem side. Good thing you didn’t bust out your sexy man-kini for this event.

Ahem-Most of all, I am jealous of your harem of very talented chefs. I’m sure our invite was “lost in the mail”.

Gail Simmons of Food & Wine Magazine (@gailsimmons) and Pimp Master Chef Eric Ripert (@ericripert)

So what have we learned today? French guys get all the chicks.

Dammit.

Reporting live from QuarryLaneFarms…

P.S. If it matters, it’s frickin frigid here in Cleveland.

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