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First off, thanks to Food Network for ruining the name “Iron Chef”.

Now I think marketers just screw things up.

Iron Chef my ass…more like “Wafer-thin Parchment Paper Chef”

Iron Chef Sauces? WTF people!?!?!?

Because I’m pretty sure any of the Iron Chefs want to be associated with the sauces in these bottles.

“Iron Chef K”? Which one was that?

Or maybe the Fatty-Batty-Boom-Ba-Latty Snapple Chick thought, “Oh, maybe we’ll try to bottle some Asian sauces too.”

Bleh.

Don’t buy this stuff cause it makes you look stupid.

Besides, you can make this on your own.

It’s Monday – stop screwing around with the water filter in the ice machine and get back to work.

Is that helping to cool you down?

Please.

Reporting live from QuarryLaneFarms…

Who travels to Fairlawn, Ohio for sushi? Well, apparently I did.

Ohio food folks talked about Sakura in Fairlawn like it was Godzillla approved…so I decided to check it out. Maybe I’d meet Mothra there too.

Sexytime Mothra

Salad-$2.75

Salad from Sakura in Fairlawn, Ohio

Slathered on miso dressing on their salad was not a good start.

Pieces of iceberg lettuce were shredded gigantically…which would be nice if I was an ogre.

May I remind you that Japanese food is delicate which each bite is delicately positioned for maximum taste in minimum bites.

Simple, delicate and beautiful

See, told you

Miso soup – $1.95

Miso soup from Sakura in Fairlawn, Ohio

Miso soup was a tad salty, but I was glad to see tofu cubes in the soup. Some Japanese resties offer miso soup with an option of tofu since so many patrons ask “without tofu” – WTH! Miso soup MUST have tofu. End of rant.

Unagi – $5.25

Another marker we use for Japanese resties is the eel (Unagi).

Unagi from Sakura in Fairlawn, Ohio

The Unagi was OK. These thicker cut were hefty but seemed fresh.

As you know, the most common downfall of this dish is the drowning  of eel in sauce. Mediocre sushi joints submerge their eel in sauce to aid the patron in hiding the weird taste of eel. This is NOT how unagi was meant to be served. Happily, Sakura did not oversauce them…which is really nice to see…esp in suburbia hell of Fairlawn. Iidesu.

The toasted Sesame seeds always  have a mind of their own.

Perhaps a thinner slice would have helped the torching for a slightly crisper crust.

California Roll – $4.75

We also use the ubiquitous California roll as the marker of good sushi place.

California roll from Sakura in Fairlawn, Ohio

Just OK. Definitely needed more rice because these were smaller…and size matters right? Also Chefs probably should not have slightly brown avocado served. Maybe consideration to separate green from red….like avocado, then immitation crab meat, then cucumber. Also consideration to add more mayo…cause I didn’t get any.

Chirachi – $16.95

Chirachi from Sakura in Fairlawn, Ohio

Nice add-on the flower for beauty.

This Chirachi box was filled to the brim w/ stuff-NICE! The usual suspects made the box including some fatty salmon, chunk of eel, and really decent ahi.

I was pleasantly and ordered more rice to match up the fish w/ rice portions. Nice work Chefs!

Shrimp was the weird part of this one. I would have preferred small sweet shrimp as opposed to the Gidron sized tasteless gulf shrimp.

Overall, not a bad sushi place in Fairlawn and VERY well priced for in Fairlawn, Ohio!

Hell, I’m just glad to see suburbia types have an option for Japanese food.

I know many people are afraid of raw fish. So here’s a few step-by-step pictorial guide for all those “Real Housewives of Fairlawn” types.

Step-1: Try something different tonight.

Step-2: Don’t wear underwear.

Step-3: Eat raw fish.

Step-3: Eat raw fish.

Ahhh, the joys of raw fish…and welcome to the 90’s ladies.

Reporting live from QuarryLaneFarms…

After spending some time gazing at our herb garden…we noticed this bastard lurking in the shadows.  

Nicknamed "Fatty-2"

AAARRRRRUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!  

For those of you who have been to QuarryLaneFarms know that the animals are great….but sadly the deer, groundhog, etc….have been detrimental to our production of fresh produce. Ultimately we cannot bring the farm-to-plate awesomeness with these…punks on the prowl.  

And honestly? I could feel this little bastard fixated on our entire tomato patch and gigantic celery. The drool from his mouth and the glare from the beady little eyes would make Jabba the Hut blush.  

Note: Fatty-1 met an untimely death when we found him in our decimated bi-color corn rows…munching on everything. Corn strewn everywhere with widespread destruction.

That was a sad day indeed.

Attention all hands: We are moving from DEFCON-3 (for a normal constant state of situational awareness/readiness) to DEFCON-4.

DEFCON-4

Put your kevlar helmets and flack jackets on folks…we’re almost at war! 

"Do you want to play a game?"

No amount of tic-tac-toe or global thermonuclear war will help you now Joshua. 

Fatty-2 is now the crosshairs.  

Reporting live from QuarryLaneFarms

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