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So instead of “normal” NFL gifts (Lambos, Porches, Hummers, etc…) – Colt has played his Cleveland-blue-collar-worker card well.

Here we go Brownies..Here we go!

He has gifted his entire Cleveland Browns linemen a Big Green Egg, accessories, and a bag of charcoal.

In my book, Colt just jumped up two spots.

BIG Green Egg

As we all know, the gift of food…more specifically the Big Green Egg is definitely a solid purchase/gift.

We should know, we have one and love ours thanks to The Glenview Ave Bakery and Krausx2NYC.

Our keawe wood smoked ribs

Our recipe for Keawe wood smoked ribs can be found here.

Our recipe for “Just like Disneyland Gigantic Smoked Turkey Legs” can be found here.

#munchamuncha bitches cause we’re #BGE4LIFE

Maybe all the Browns can get a part-time job at the new Michael Symon restie upcoming . @chefsymon would hire them.

Reporting live from QuarryLaneFarms…

Back to Portland Oregon (or “Oregun”)!

As we travel back and forth throughout the country, one of our stops was in beautiful sunny rainy Portland.

Portland…the city of hippes, offbeat, self-proclaimed weirdos and beatniks. Shockingly typical because every city says their more weird than the other.

Let’s get down to brass tax – I’m hungry so what kind of grub do you have!?!!? A resounding response from almost all the local yokals is Voodoo Doughnut.

Featured on such shows as Travel Channel’s No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain and G4TV’s AOTS (Attack of the Show) – we figured what could be so appealing for a doughnut?

We rolled up to their temporary home on Davis cause their other locations are under repair…

Where is this place again?

…and this sign was helpful in finding this nondescript place.

Parking lot is filled with kitchy signs which fit Portland’s mantra of weird.

Signs in their parking lot...

But clearly the Peptol Bismol flavored trucks and buildings entranced the crowd to zombie stumble their way in for doughnuts.

I like the pink

Inside, this line was comparatively short for their normally snaking-out-the-back-of-the-store lines.

Inside VooDoo Doughnuts

Weird oddities on the walls and a mini-me coffin on the trash can makes these Portlanders a mark above strange. Yep-bonus weird points for VooDoo Doughnuts.

Coffin-done. Weirdness-confirmed.

Nearing the front of the line, they not only have their menus on the walls…

Line moves fast so be ready to order

…but lacking full descriptions…

Man, I need glasses

…but a rotating multi-level tray of their selection of doughnuts helps! #nomnom

Rotating doughnuts - sexytime!

This is as close as you’re gonna get for doughnuts on a pole aka stripper doughnuts. Magical and entrancing indeed!

Humor doesn’t end with the decor in the store as their box gives its own homage to the pink “boxes” of the world.

A pink....er....box...for your enjoyment

All Rights Reserved for your eating enjoyment.

Captain my Captain: Raised yeast doughnut with vanilla frosting and Captain Crunch- $1.25

Captain my Captain!

This looked marvelous as my anticipation of crunchy cereal on a soft warm doughnut was conceptually perfection in my mind.

Crunchacruncha?

Clearly the vanilla frosting acted as the “milk” in this breakfast monstrosity.

Can it be...breakfast all in one?

My first few bites? Well, doughnut was good, frosting was good…but my Captain has turned stale!

Captain Crunch? More like Captain Stale

That’s right, the Captain Crunch used as the topping was stale and soft. Such high hopes dashed by stale cereal. Booooooooo.

Moving along to one of my more favorite cartoon characters (along with Hong Kong Phooey and Snorks)

Grape Ape: Raised yeast doughnut with vanilla frosting, grape dust and lavender sprinkles – $ 1.25

Grape Ape doughnut

This duality of life grape doughnut was living the dream of being half dusted and half sprinkled – perfect for those Jekyll and Hyde types.

One lonely lavender sprinkle exploring the other half of the dusted doughnut world

Upon closer inspection, it isn’t sprinkled as more pressed lavender sprinkles into vanilla frosting. Either way, all I could taste was grape juice.

Grape your Ape

Perfect. I’d order this guy again. #GrapeApeGrapeApe

Grape Ape and Beakely Beakley

And now for their piece-de-resistance: Ladies and Gents, I give you what VooDoo doughnuts are famous for…

Bacon Maple Bar: Raised yeast doughnut with maple frosting and bacon on top! $2.00

This particular doughnut was featured on No Reservations…basically a foodies porno with slow motion shots of men/women devouring and licking decadent foods from across the world. So I’m sure you can imagine my culinary boner when I heard bacon ON maple ON doughnut. That’s like the proverbial threesome with blond twins!

Baconthisbitches

First bite was heavenly as the crunch of the semi warm bacon with the gooey maple frosting – pure illicit foodgasm.

How YOU doing...

The elongated shape of the actual doughnut is ingenious for those strips of salty savory bacon.

So. Damn. Good.

I’m not going to lie, I ate the whole thing….then I proceeded to lick the wrapper…

Chef Symon would be so proud for my love of bacon. I’d consider this one of The Best Things I Ever Ate.

If there is one doughnut that I would pull a salty/sweet/savory train with, without hesitation, it would be this Bacon Maple Bar.

...Speaking of trains...

Thanks to the staff at VooDoo Doughnuts for making my entire order fresh for the review. Even with the long lines, it was great to chat with the tatted crew and see their small kitchen.

Additionally, they do weddings at this location–so if you’re ever in the mood to marry your doughnut I mean your significant other, this could be your stop.

Reporting live with maple frosting on my face…

Has it really been one year since we started this blog?

Happy Blogoversary!

Blogoversary! uncha-uncha-uncha

We started this blog on February 2nd, 2010: so what better way to recap one year in the blog-o-sphere with a list of my favorite posts, sexy time posts, and of course our favorite food porn.

Most favorite posts:

1. Boeuf Bourguignon and guest Chef Fornication Francois : This is one of my favorite posts because I actually write a character evolution piece using food and Julia Child as the vehicle. Brings me back to my creative writing class in college. I am most proud of this post.

 2. Cantankerous Clams – Cause you’re gonna want to lick the bowl clean : Start to finish, step by step, almost all pictures. Keepin it real yo.

3. What is the best part of a McDonalds cheeseburger? : This post/memory drove me back to childhood…like hanabata days kine. Almost like that moment in Ratatouille where one is thrust back into childhood. The post obv not so much about the actual food itself, but the actions around food that drives us to eat.

4. Iron Chef Cat Cora meets a stoned stager and photographer : My attention to gas station details are second to none.

5. Chef Rick Bayless, as an orphan, were you found on the steps of a church wrapped in a tortilla shell? : Did you just picture Chef Bayless IN a tortilla shell? I did.

Sexy time posts:

1. Top Chef Jennifer Carroll in a bikini, Bacon bikini, Padma licking BBQ sauce sweaty-naked or https://quarrylanefarms.wordpress.com/2011/01/16/beach-fufu-drink-top-chef-boobs-thanks-chefjencarroll-damn-you-ericripert-caymancookout/ : The first started out as we mocked another Cleveland blogger. But with the popularity of Top Chef and BravoTV, these two posts seem to be very popular thanks to the bikini pictures, Chef Eric Ripert’s je ne sais quoi, and of course Host Padma Lakshmi licking. Grab a kleenex.

2. Wear your bikini for the 120lbs of pig Happy 4th of July – #oinkfest2010 : Cause our foodie friends are way cool esp since the piggy was so. damn. good. and the hot chicks in bikinis were outstanding. Love America on the 4th of July.

3. Symon Fieri QuarryLaneFarms Brown and DeLaurentiis: All in one place – Cleveland : One picture at the end (thanks HD) makes this post worth visiting. You’ll need a moment.

Food porn:



1. The Best Burger in the world is… : This post is still causing plenty of controversy. Food porn indeed as my vote for the best burger in the world.

2. Gigantic smoked turkey leg…Disneyland style. : Lotsa people with large pieces of meat. Nuff said.

3. @Nomnomtruck – The best banh mi sandwich ever #perfection #hotchick : The detail and close up/macro shots we took of this amazing sandwich is enough to get you a “culinary boner”.

Bonus: B-Y-O-Bacon at Mhenry in Chicago #eggslut : Just look at the last picture post. Happens to me all the time. “Don’t move, I’ll get you a towel…”

Entree the proverbial Bourdain phrase: “So what have we learned?” Well, I can easily say we here at QuarryLaneFarms enjoy our successes/failures of cooking, writing, photography, and of course eating. Our belief remains: Sharing your food is really sharing your soul, your thoughts, your imagination, and most importantly, the history of your family.

Thank you to all of our readers.

Special thanks to Joolie, Snoozie, Curtis, Giner, Sneakerhead, KHWattz, Ms. Veggie, Mr. Drenalin and of course all of our families. We’d be lost without you.

A wise friend said to me, “Keep drinking cause it gets better!”

Wilco

Reporting live from QuarryLaneFarms…

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