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@QuarryLaneFarms presents #OysterFest2012
So OysterFest started back in 2010 where we basically ordered hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of oysters with one simple rule: As long as everyone shucks oysters, you can eat as many oysters as you like. Raw, cooked, in your pants…didn’t matter. Just wanting to share the oyster love by shucking and sucking these great bivalves. You bet, OysterFest was an instantaneous hit.
Fast forward to 2012: Did someone order hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of oysters again?
Fo shizzle nizzle….cause this one’s a winner-winner-oyster-dinner.
Well, there was a whole lotta shucking going on – At this point, I am pretty sure I qualify for the MuthaShucker trophy.
Here’s the menu run down…
Soup: Cream of Asparagus Soup
Asparagus from the Chef’s Garden in Huron, Ohio. Easily the best asparagus I’ve ever had in my life.
@TheChefsGarden Asparagus – Fit for a king!
And it was pretty healthy since I added a whole bunch of creme fraiche too.
Super mahalos to @sobechic for the magical veggie box.
Salad: Watermelon feta basil
Watermelon, feta, basil, balsamic vinegar, extra virgin olive oil, salt, and pepper
Yeah, call me a chick…I got this one from Pinterest.
Apps: Various cheeses from Grandpa’s Cheese barn and QLF Veggie platter
Grandpa’s Cheese Barn in Ashland, Ohio sounds creepy but it’s a great tourist trap place.
Grandpa’s Cheese Barn
Thanks to @srouser for the awesome Whiskey Cheese pick! Grandpa’s Cheese Barn is also a great pit stop between Columbus-to-Cleveland.
Also – who doesn’t enjoy a good veggie platter?
Veggie platter w/ dip
Yeah, call me Nancy now cause I got the dip bowls idea from Pinterest too. Mamsey Pansey!
Main: Chincoteague Oysters (VA) and East Point Oysters (NJ)
Chincoteague
East Point
We order oysters by the hundreds
Don’t judge. If you order your oysters by the hundreds, probably a better guarantee on freshness cause your fish monger should order fresh case(s).
Us? We have a direct line to Mr. Verba at Euclid Fish (@EuclidFishCo). Solid guy – trust him w/ my bivalves.
We can’t stress this enough – YOU SHOULD BE ON A FIRST NAME BASIS WITH YOUR FISH MONGER. Nuff said.
Here are my favorite shucking tools.
Happy Mother shucking!!!
Use whatever you like…but I’ve been using this stuff forever.
Raw Oysters – Oysters should always be really fresh, clean and clear briny deliciousness. Not cloudy or dirty.
Briny oysters clean and delicious
And shucking should be clean and easy.
There are about a million toppings and stuff to put on, but I’d really suggest you try a few without anything. Yes that’s right – really taste the oysters-plain, see what the oysters ate, and really taste the water they were raised in.
Balls out time cause it really tells a lot about your product and your fishmonger.
Also clues on oyster freshness, from outside the shells, check out the seaweed that arrives on the shells/in the box too.
Seaweed so fresh, you can eat it
Pretty fresh huh?
Roasted oysters
Similar to an Oyster Roast in Charleston, this is a simple alternative to those who can’t get over their textural issues.
Step-1: Throw them on the grill.
Step-2: Wait 3 minutes
Step-3: Easily open oysters.
Step-4: Devour.
Step-5: Hit on your oyster roaster guy (OK, this one is optional…sorta).
Rinse/Repeat
The oysters should cook in their shell and suck up the briny jus inside.
Oysters also pop open when they are ready to be pulled too.
Oyster roasting – pops when ready
So easy, a caveman can do it.
Deep fried oysters
Fresh shucked larger oysters, secret breadcrumb mix, deep fry for 1 minute, serve hot.
Fry baby fry!
Doesn’t get any easier right?
Dessert: mini lemon tarts and cake pops
Super huge thanks to @hfish of MyGreatBigRecipeChallenge for the mini lemon tarts.
Awesome crust!
Cake pops…yes the coolest dessert yet!
Cake pops and props
Easy and fun stuff – cake pops seems to be the latest rage for desserts.
They were delicious!
In the end, OysterFest2012 was all about great friends and meeting new folks. And yes, the props helped too.
Mrs. Lips galore, Mr. Meatballs, and Ms. Talonclaw busting out the props!
The Brit and Ms. America (with a guest appearance from bowtie sausage fingers)
Ladies all at once now…
Stash McGee and Smiles McGee!
Cake pops and props are a hit!
Mrs Bowtie and the Aloha Shirt Bandit!
Mr. Bond and Mrs. Peggy Sue
In the famous words by Bourdain, “So what did we learn today?”
Oysters + Bourbon + Props + Friends = Another successful #OysterFest2012.
Sweeping up shells and dreaming of the next OysterFest.
Reporting live from QuarryLaneFarms….
Just reminiscing about previous our briny Oysterfest.
Oysters as far as the eye can see
If you don’t remember our roasting, reference our oyster roasting calculations here
Soup: ?
Salad: Watermelon feta basil bites and ?
inebriated testing results in sloppy apps
Apps: Veggie Platter and ?
Main: Raw oysters, deep-fried oysters, and roasted oysters (VOption: VBBB)
***BTW-We’re definitely doing a shuck-off too***
Desserts: Smores station and ?
Beverages: Hmmm
Wish my closet looked like this
Try to keep your pants on.
ROWR!
And now more bourbon while we continue planning the menu!
Reporting live from QuarryLaneFarms…
Since we were back for a few days, we decided to attempt some homemade pasta.
Please note: We’ve never made our own noodles ever. So this was going to be….er…..fun.
Step-1: clean countertop
As clean as it gets...
Step-2: get a decent sized food processor
Not as big as my wang, but it'll do
Step-3: The use of AP flour (not just for antiquing people)
Flour...more uses than the described application in the "Pretty When I'm Drunk" song
Step-4: measure exactly
Exactly? We rarely do anything "exactly"
Step-5: mixamixa w/ salt
mixamixa
Step-6: pour in well beaten egg
Eggslut
Step-7: into moist pliable dough ball
Moist like your sister...
Step-8: Rest for 30.
Resting...so time to pour some bourbon
So basically we want semi thin strips like this
Kinda want this...
Step-9: roll out dough. Clearly a pasta press or hand crank would have been ideal, but after 5 glasses of bourbon, we weren’t thinking clearly.
Press.....
Step-10: cut into even strips (again, too much bourbon will not help)
Bourbon = drunken knife work #onthedottedline
Step-11: toss lightly with flour (Note: At this point, we’re on our 8th glass of bourbon).
toss her salad...I mean lightly with flour
Step-12: boil water. Throw some salt in it too. No oil (save that for the bedroom).
How to boil water...
Step-13: we opted to test the time frame of fresh pasta boiling. From left to right, 1-minute, 2-minutes, 3-minutes, 4-minutes, 5-minutes, 6-minutes, and 7-minutes.
Minute tests on al dente pasta (your results will vary on personal tastes and altitude)
As you can see, our optimal time to boil fresh made pasta is between 3-4 minutes.
Step-14: Everyone in the pool.
All in to the pool
Step-15: Make sure water is boiling (duh).
All in with boiling water!
Step-16: stir frequently to get even boil. Then drain in colander
Mixamixa then drain
Step-17: get so close that it fogs the camera up (I blame the bourbon).
Foggy...or is it the bourbon talking...
Step-18: throw into bowl. drizzle w/ olive oil and parmesan.
In a bowl....ready for....
Step-19: Muncha.
So it wasn’t the best. I think we had too much AP flour. Or we mixed it too long. Or we didn’t let it rest. Or we should have used 00 flour. Let’s be honest, we fucked it up.
Insert 10th glass of bourbon.
Instead of reassessing our situation, and improving it, we drunkenly think it’s better to move toward ravioli.
Steps-1 thru 9 are basically the same as above.
Step-10: strips about the width of your Kate Moss skinny forearm. Place a glob of sautéed meat/veggies apart from each other.
Laying it out....
Step-11: lay an equal width of pasta dough on top of initial layer.
Tops on
Step-12: Cut to separate each ravioli.
Lift and separate...I mean just separate
Step-13: Crimp the edges w/ a fork. Try to do so without being so drunk. Well….so much for that.
#WTH
Basically looks like we #forkfucked this poor ravioli. This is where we started our 11th glass of bourbon. Frustrated and more drinking.
Step-14: Lets stuff more into these raviolis. Maybe that will help. Why not? They won’t notice.
Stuff it!
Step-15: again #Forkfuck these raviolis too. Sadly, it looked like I tried to do this with a large pitchfork. Sadly, it was just my drunken stupor w/ a dinner fork.
Again with the bad crimping job
Step-16: boil for 4 minutes.
Put it in...
Step-17: make some kind of butter sauce w/ onions butter, and oregano. Plop it on the lone tester ravioli.
smother it!
Step-18: get the close up food porn view so that everyone can see how bad these are…
Looks like one of the Real Housewives of Assville's vagina after a night of thrashing #forkfucked
Step-19: get another close up food porn view of the butter sauce.
Sauce? Kinda....
Step-20: More close up views of the #forkfucked ravioli (clearly in retrospect, I could have used more moisture…but I was drunk and didn’t notice that).
More moist would have help...in the ravioli
Step-21: drop more into non boiling water (didn’t notice cause I was drunk).
all in the pool again
Step-22: Obviously, filler was over cooked, interior cheese wasn’t melted. Lets showcase our ravioli failure with a closeup shot. (12th glass of bourbon).
over-under = failed ravioli
Well, at least we had Garlic french bread.
So to review this major ROYAL screw up, no homemade pasta from us/by us for a long while. Yuck it up folks-cause. this. was. #fail.
Besides, I have a headache from all the bourbon.
Bourbon on the pasta/ravioli assist...
Reporting live from the QuarryLaneFarms homemade pasta #fail blog….
QuarryLaneFarms 