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Our crew has heard so much about Cropicana this summer…good and bad both.
The "guard shack" at the entrance of Cropicana
So we put on underwear and headed on over to Whiskey Island in Cleveland to spock out Cropicana.
BTW-Parking lot is in gravel…so if you have a tough time navigating, or if you are old, stay home cause you won’t like the parking lot.
Cropicana's parking lot
Menu is hand drawn…though I don’t think it changes very much.
Cropicana's food menu
Fish Tacos – Shredded “cabage”, cilantro lime dressing – 2 for $7
Fish tacos at Cropicana
Heavy like your fat uncle slathering oil on his belly – this cabage cabbage slaw dressing was way to thick. Additionally, in my opinion, these fish sticks were straight from the box Gordon’s Fisherman special.
Like the McNugget shape, I don't know any fish-shaped as such
I hope Gordon didn’t invest in Cropicana.
Fresh...from the frozen food section
Dressing? Didn’t taste much of the cilantro lime dressing…in fact, didn’t taste it at all. I did spy a lime wedge. Or maybe they were referring to the parsley….oops, I mean cilantro on the tacos. Maybe it was deconstructed cilantro lime dressing. Either way, I wouldn’t order again.
Nachos – cheese, fresh salsa, jalapeno, sour cream, add chorizo black beans – $5
Nachos at Cropicana
Good nacho! Melty cheese is one of our favorites. #squirtsquirtsquirt
Just wished the staff at Cropicana didn’t prefer stale chips. All. Chips. Were. Stale.
Smoked pork butt burrito – pineapple salsa, lettuce, jack, cilantro sauce – $7
Just met a burrito that wasn't my friend...
Covered in pineapple salsa, this burrito was difficult to eat. Pork butt well smoked. But needed more salt. Smoke alone isn’t enough for pork butt.
Also-if you intend to be a restie that has outdoors, rest assured your diners is NOT a fork/knife type. This burrito was no one’s friend. Also if you put salsa ON the burrito, it will make the entire outside shell soft and soggy…prone to breaking…causing this to happen.
Blow out central
In order to keep this “together”, I had to cone it. Not happy about that as I had to dedicate one hand to burrito and one to beer. Dude rule-you just can’t mess up your beer.
Please bear in mind that dudes need to keep one hand free at all times:
1. Answer the booty call on our cell phones
2. Randomly adjust our balls
Just gotta adjust...
This burrito was having none of this.
In fact, at this point, Cropicana staff should just call it an open-faced burrito.
Mayday Mayday Mayday - We've got a Burrito-blowout!
So lets talk about the people watching.
I expected to see a few of these.....
NOT!
Reality – lots of outdoor seating, bring your dog or your fat tubby cousin cause there’s more than enough places for both to enjoy the sun.
Just some of the beached whales...
Lots of buckets of beers being had here with superb people watching action…
See, even these seasoned veterans aren't really eating either
…not to mention a plethora of plumbers crack too.
Um.....
There are some covered seating where alot of boring people sat.
Covered seating complete with the old couple on their first date
Cornhole tournament…
Requirements for Cornhole tournament? G-T-L
Not going to lie, my favorite moment there was when I spotted this piece of ass…
I.
Smoker on wheels-1
WANT.
Smoker on wheels-2
IT.
Smoker on wheels-3
I WANT IT – I WANT IT – I WANT IT – I WANT IT – I WANT IT – I WANT IT – I WANT IT – I WANT IT – I WANT IT – I WANT IT
Ahem.
So to review, Cleveland summers are meant to be outside. Spend it wisely and go for liquid lunches here at Cropicana.
Go to Cropicana for beers and sun…and oogle their smoker.
Reporting live from QuarryLaneFarms….
Thanks to @HappyDogCLE, we have our answer on how to appropriately dress your tots.
It all started with this lackluster oder of whiz:
Squirt canned whiz? WTF?
Hilariously, even the staff proclaimed, “Yeah, our whiz is kinda embarassing…Nacho cheese is where it’s at.”
Thanks to Philly, our impression of whiz is the famous cheesesteak.
Now THIS is the appropriate whiz...Daaaammmnn
And it comes from these large cans.
Now that's a MFer can of whiz!
Sadly, Happy Dog doesn’t adhere to these rules. Gino and Pats would bitch slap Happy Dog for serving the miniscule amount of whiz.
So to aid in your tot-tastic-time, and in the famous words of Billy Mays, “Here’s how to order!”
Step-1: Order the tater tots at Happy Dog in Cleveland (@HappyDogCLE)
Tater Tots...morsels of deep-fried love
Step-2: get some bacon…cause it’s good for you.
Hit it
Step-3: Order the nacho cheese on the side.
The only good way to get nacho cheese...squirt squirt
Step-4: Dip your balls tots and enjoy.
Any questions?
For the #HD2010 reference, check out this post re: Hot Dogs or this post re: more Hot Dogs
Additional thanks in this post to our new Habanero Specialist Liz.
Reporting live from QuarryLaneFarms…
So we took our entire staff out to the Taste of Tremont on Sunday July 18, 2010.
8th annual Taste of Tremont
For those that have never been, this area of Cleveland is stock full to the gills of great restaurants and bars and once a year, they put on a regional favorite called “The Taste of Tremont” which features outdoor street dining/walking amongst numerous of the shops and establishments in the neighborhood. Quaint and cosy, this is a pretty mixed neighborhood of restaurants and homes right next to each other. How cool is that?!?!??!
Of course, before going this year, we posted about our most memorable food from last year: Nacho chips from Fahrenheit.
This year, we all opted to drink and eat more than last year.
To help give you an understanding of when we say “hilarious people” , we found Papa Smurf wandering the crowds this year.
Papa Smurf hasn't changed. Is that Smurfette?
As usual, the place was packed when we arrived and only got busier as the day progressed.
Our first stop, surprise surprise surprise, is at Fahrenheit for the Nacho Chips. Fahrenheit crews were already busy and working hard. Didn’t see Chef Rocco, but I was sure he was around.
Get your Nacho Chips here!
Again, here’s one of our perennial favorites, Nacho Chips from Fahrenheit. I’ll let you soak in the tomatos, green onions, bacon, three different cheeses blanketing the homemade chips. Deep breath and pinch yourself. It’s that good.
Nacho Chips from Fahrenheit
I think I just drooled on this laptop.
Also note: we gave the secret word out morning of – so if you happened to see us, the secret word would get you our favorite Nacho Chips for free!
Also had their Philly Cheesesteak too, but since our food expedition to Philly (to see Top Chef Jennifer Carroll), we are now spoiled on the real deal authentic stuff – Gino’s.
Philly Cheesesteak from Fahrenheit
As we stuffed our faces with nachos, we walked on down to Lincoln Park Bistro for their lamb sliders. Last year, we had a TON of these…and this year was no different. Delicious and tasty, these juicy little sliders were perfect.
More sauce-cha-cha-cha
We only wish we had more sauce.
They also offered up home-made chips with sauce. So, if you claim home-made chips, they should be thicker cut. Wafer thin should be served to wafer thin people. This is Cleveland. We’re on the street. THICK CUT~! Again, don’t be so cheap with the sauce.
I've had more sauce from a ketchup packet...
After what we thought was a @Seanski82 sighting (sorry), we moved on to TyFun for their Pad Thai and Chicken stir fry.
Their decent Pad Thai hit the spot thanks to the fried tofu. This batch seemed to be heavily sauced and too little noodles, but hey–they are serving thousands of people. Besides, it went well with our second mojito of the day.
TyFun Veggie Pad Thai
Also note: Cleveland Foodie Michelle (@ClevelandFoodie) has a great Pad Thai discussion going on her Facebook page now. Note: I agree, at this time, Bangkok Thai Cuisine in Lyndhurst has the best Pad Thai.
Chicken stir fry was good, but a bit heavy on the sauce. Also a little heat is always a good thing.
Chicken stir fry
TyFun-I wish I had three bowls of rice separately to eat this. The miniscule amount of rice mixed in drowned amongst the veggies and chicken is not cool.
We wandered over to what we heard was a mojito bar…and a live band. The band wasn’t that good nor did the outside bar have any ice. C’mon people…If you have a bar, have a bar back that shuttle ice. It is embarrassing to serve drinks without ice.
Music and iceless drinks
So into Lago we went where they DID have ice.
Passing by a 90-year-old man who was outfitted in a bold Ken Lanci Shirt – obviously paid to stand at attention by the door. Poor guy / not cool Lanci.
Our first and second round of mojitos went down very well, but getting a third round was impossible. The wait staff tooled around like a bunch of lost puppies and despite our three times asking, they could not produce a mojito to save their lives.
Lago mojitos
Additionally, now would be a good time to talk about attire while serving: We don’t know who approved this “summer wear” from Lago, but this kind of “outfit” is terrible for a server.
Sleeveless waiter = bad stuff
Don’t care how hot it is / Don’t care how big the gun show is (or in this case – isn’t) / Don’t care if your Uncle owns the joint or not…The GM should NOT have allowed this to walk out to the floor…ever. Just the thought of his armpit hairs falling into entrees or sweat droplets in people’s food is enough for us not to go to Lago ever. Yo Macho Man Randy Savage! 1987 called and said to buy some sleeves.
Macho Man Randy Savage is a server at Lago
After our three futile attempt to get the wait staff to fill our third and fourth orders of drinks, we opted to do more traveling around.
We decided a pit stop for more beverages was in order, and we bellied up to the bar at 806 Martini & Wine Bar. Oddly, almost our entire staff checked in and got their “housewife” badges there. Don’t know what the hell that is, but sounds cool. The bartender was clearly under stress and feigned our mass order of mojitos. Good day for tips, but tough day to work – we understand.
After getting another round of mojitos, we opted to retire to the back patio where we spied famous Cleveland celebrity Alexa (@clevelandaplum). As usual, I did the double take and it was quickly confirmed with my entire line staff – as they all follow her on Twitter. In fact, they also sport her shirt too.
Her own shirt
Prior to this, I have been the only one to meet here IRL and the rest of our line cooks and staff all wanted to say hi.
Celebrity @Clevelandsaplum
I “waved them off ghost rider” as I noticed Alexa in a sweet-handholding-across-the-table embrace with a guy – her love tractor beam firmly attached to his his puppy dog eyes. Bern chicka bern bern…
puppy dog eyes
Besides, since we were right next to her, I was sure she was staring at my but for a good 30 minutes. BTW-our line agrees that @clevelandsaplum is way cuter IRL.
So we continued to drink.
After Mojito #9, we opted to do more exploring…and at the end of the road, we found our new food like for the Taste of Tremont.
Thanks to the folks at the Tremont Taphouse, we were introduced to their pork sliders. Delicious! These smaller sliders were filled with great pork and a great very coarse chopped coleslaw. All with a light dab more of sauce on it. Out-freakin-standing. Bourdain would love this stuff.
Pork Sliders from Tremont Taphouse
Accompanying our pork sliders, was the intro to an expensive root beer. Here we thought Abita only made real beer. Folks I suggest you buy some. This is really good stuff.
Abita root beer - Mmmmmmmm
Since we were drenched in sweat, we opted to pass on the Mac & Cheese from Lola/Lolita. Sorry Iron Chef Michael Symon (@mdsymon), just way too hot to sweat out straight savory cheese. Plus they sold out early too.
We made our way to Grumpy’s booth and were instantly drawn to the sign that said chorizo nachos.
Grumpy's fo some chorizo!
Chorizo nachos were awesome. Great meat, awesome salsa, pretty much the perfect street food. AND – nothing says sexy like a chick squirting melty cheese on your nachos. HAWT!
Chick squirting fake cheese - I can't even stand up now
As the day wore on, we found the place was packed with young and old, fat and skinny, singles on the prowl and families alike – all just roaming around having a great time.
Church steps = Taste of Tremont Dining Room
We found that it seemed to get busier as the day went on…and of course the heat was borderline schweaty balls. Nod to the SNL Alec Baldwin.
Schweaty Balls
Surprising that the emergency services folks didn’t put up misting fans or something as the heat could have taken out alot of people – young and old combined.
TyFun hard at work
Great amount of thanks to all those behind the scenes crews working hard to produce great food for everyone. As you can see, the those on the line were sweating it out and working hard. Thanks folks for making this event a success.
Line Chefs working the magic
On the next lap, we retired back to 806 again for 3-4 more rounds of mojitos and called it a day since it was pretty fuzzy at this point and the monsoon was about to hit.
Mojito-Mojito-Mojito-Mojito-Mojito-Mojito
Folks-if you haven’t been to the Taste of Tremont, GO! It is a good thing to support your local area businesses and restaurants. Plus you could meet us for some free nachos. #humuhumunukunukuapua’a.
Additionally, other Cleveland food fanatics were there too! @beautyfoodie @bitebuff @AMP150Cleveland @KaseyCrabtree @michellev @roomservice216 – just to name a few.
So plan to go in 2011. We’ll see you there.
QuarryLaneFarms under construction
On another unrelated note: QuarryLaneFarms will be closed for major construction/ renovations from 07/20 thru 07/25. And thanks for your patience.
Amidst the dust and debris – Reporting live from QuarryLaneFarms…
QuarryLaneFarms 