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After watching TV host Chef Anthony Bourdain talk about cooking bacon naked….I have some advice for all of you: Don’t do it.
Bourdain reminisces about naked bacon making
It may sound like a god sent hangover idea…or still inebriated easy idea…or a post hump good idea…
Mmmmm....bacon!
…but it isn’t.
Here at QuarryLaneFarms, we have tiered a few clothing optional examples to help you (in case you just like being naked). We have also color coded the response (like a stop light) in hopes that you will remember to keep safety in mind.
Green: Safe for operations
Thanks to Marisa Miller and FHM in aiding in our safety message as she hits several personal protective measures here:
1. Gloves to protect her hands. Also note the brite pink color to aid in rapid identification in sudsy water.
2. It is inherent that you get wet working the dishwashing station…so her mesh safety vest provides her breathability with maximum drying surface area.
3. Saving the Earth water by filling the sink for presoak – NOT running the faucet wide open. She’s being green (no pun intended).
Marisa in the green (Pic cred-Cartel Management Inc)
Excellent example of mobility and workstation ease at the dishwashing station!
Yellow: Caution during operations
Marisa, again your safety measures amaze everyone.
1. Notice that Marisa has placed her hot pot on a tea towel to prevent slippage.
2. Marisa has moved the pot of boiling pasta away from the stove.
3. Marisa is using a slotted spoon to drain the pasta away from her body.
Slight caution for a few splashing hot water drops from your pasta pot as you transfer over to your already plated pesto.
Caution with pasta Marisa (Pic cred-Cartel Management Inc)
Thanks for the help Marisa.
I’d eat your…pesto.
Red: Don’t do it – You’ll get hurt.
Danger Will Robinson! Danger!
1. She has a spatula in hand…therefore this Chef is frying something. This is dangerous due to splatter factor. Obviously, she’s excited to fry…but she won’t be too excited after her trip to the hospital’s burn center.
2. At least tie your drawstrings on your pants.
3. Stretching at your HOT workstation WHILE cooking is not a good idea. You should stretch pre-shift.
4. Her bellybutton jewelry could get caught in something. Ouch.
Code Red: She's a good idea, but what's frying in the griddle is not a good idea
This one is like Code Bacon – dangerous! Like splatter dangerous.
I’m pretty sure Top Chef Contestant Chef Jennifer Carroll or Food Network’s Giada DeLaurentiis would agree: safety first!
Make good decisions in the kitchen folks!
Reporting live from QuarryLaneFarms
Thanks to @HappyDogCLE, we have our answer on how to appropriately dress your tots.
It all started with this lackluster oder of whiz:
Squirt canned whiz? WTF?
Hilariously, even the staff proclaimed, “Yeah, our whiz is kinda embarassing…Nacho cheese is where it’s at.”
Thanks to Philly, our impression of whiz is the famous cheesesteak.
Now THIS is the appropriate whiz...Daaaammmnn
And it comes from these large cans.
Now that's a MFer can of whiz!
Sadly, Happy Dog doesn’t adhere to these rules. Gino and Pats would bitch slap Happy Dog for serving the miniscule amount of whiz.
So to aid in your tot-tastic-time, and in the famous words of Billy Mays, “Here’s how to order!”
Step-1: Order the tater tots at Happy Dog in Cleveland (@HappyDogCLE)
Tater Tots...morsels of deep-fried love
Step-2: get some bacon…cause it’s good for you.
Hit it
Step-3: Order the nacho cheese on the side.
The only good way to get nacho cheese...squirt squirt
Step-4: Dip your balls tots and enjoy.
Any questions?
For the #HD2010 reference, check out this post re: Hot Dogs or this post re: more Hot Dogs
Additional thanks in this post to our new Habanero Specialist Liz.
Reporting live from QuarryLaneFarms…
Alright, our entire line and staff have set some goals for 2011.
Aloha inspiration
And thanks to the 50th state Hawaii for helping us clear our minds and inspiring us with this view (Sandy’s).
Our goals for 2011:
1. Peking Duck: Because it’s Peking frickin duck!
2. Dol Sot Bi Bim Bapp: Because it sizzles when served.
3. A logo: People are getting tired of looking at our Cantankerous clams.
4. Banh Mi: Because we want to pickle carrots and dikon and find some perfect baguettes.
5. Rabbit: Because we rarely get to eat little bunny Fufu.
6. A kick ass pot pie: Because pot pie is straight-up pajama bottoms sexy.
7. A real website: Kacy’s getting tired of answering the same questions.
8. Bacon: Awww yeah, I said bacon.
9. More loud food: Because food is more than just taste.
10. Lau lau in Cleveland: This might be the toughest one since luau leaves, salted butterfish and ti leaves are tough to find here in Cleveland. No worries brah!
So, any thoughts? Insight? Words of wisdom?
Reporting live from QuarryLaneFarms…
QuarryLaneFarms 