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Top Chef Masters Season 2 – Spoiler alert – you’ve been warned.
Top Chef Masters Season 2 final episode-Of course each Chef had their own great stories…but the word “Master” should evoke years of respect and accomplishments…clearly not the case in this season’s final judgement.
As a “Master”, the Chef should take chances and envision the future. Even Rick Moonen, a Chef with overcompensating man parts cause he’s “the fish guy”, went out of his comfort zone and made venison. Venison people! Purely on his exploration of his future, out of his comfort zone, this should have gandered him more stars.
The Fish Guy Chef Rick Moonen
Judge/Author Jay Rayner was swooned by Moonen’s oyster. In fact, hilariously homo Saveur Editor James Oseland asked Moonen to marry him. Give your future husband 5 stars will ya?!?!?
Oseland said, "Will you marry me?"
SuSur Lee’s heartbreaking story of his first wife, no doubt, brought a tear to everyone in the audience. In SuSur’s first dish, Gail Simmons of Food and Wine Magazine gushes about the black bean sauce.
Gail-Is that your nipple?
Oseland said they were transported to the Dim Sum Restaurant that SuSur and Father visited. Love it. From the heart.
Dim Sum = From the heart
Susur’s third dish, according to Frontera Grill’s Chef Rick Bayless, Chiang Mai sausage on lamb “…pretty much nailed it” and “even better than the original Chiang Mai”.
Top Chef Master Bayless said Susur, "Nailed it!"
Chef Samuelson should not have won. A bit younger, Chef Samuelson has been featured in TONS of food publications-but we feel the young lad needs a bit more time to braise before elevating him into the Top Chef “Masters” category. Besides, flan is so 2004 (Check the cover of America’s Test Kichen’s Cooks Illustrated, The New Best Recipe).
Named Top Chef Master Marcus Samuelson
True his dishes were a reflection on his skills and his plight to introduce Ethopian food to the world should not outshine the efforts of his Sweedish background which wasn’t really apparent. Now if he tied more of the Sweedish into the Ethopian…now you got a show.
A real Sweedish Chef
So envision in your mind about a “Master” …now Marcus Samuelson and Rick Bayless. Even at 4am, drunk with slurred speech, Chef Rick Bayless wins.
The loveable Top Chef Master Rick Bayless
All three chefs worked hard and appeared to have produced dishes that they were generally happy with.
Other random thoughts:
1. Kelly Choi should not be so skinny if she is adjudicates a cooking competition. Eat something!
Choi needs to eat...Put something in your mouth!
2. Apreciated that Bottega Chef Michael Chiarello kept his mouth shut.
The Prick, Chef Frenchy, Chef Loves Everything
3. Wanted more mainstream reviewers to weigh in on the final judgement. Maybe Les Halles Chef Anthony Bourdain, The French Laundry Chef Thomas Keller, Lola/Lolita Iron Chef Michael Symon…I’d even take Food Network’s hotness Chef Giada DeLaurentiis (C’mon, play nice with the other networks).
Giada in a moment of bliss...Mmmmm
Overall Top Chef Masters Season 2 wasn’t as exciting as Season 1…but we did appreciate more theatrics and f-bombs (Bayless, you’re just too nice). And if this is any indication of “Masters” seasons to come, I am sure a Chef, on the show, will get drunk…then naked…and then pregnant…typical Bravo TV. We can all thank those Real Housewives of Stupidtown shows.
The Real Housewives of Skanksville, USA
So raise a glass to ratings…I mean good food!
Reporting live from QuarryLaneFarms
*Results* on the epic battle between burgers!!!!
He has several other great restaurants such as Lola, Lolita, etc….but Iron Chef Michel Symon’s B-Spot has incredible burgers…SO WHICH ONE DO I ORDER?!?!?!!?
Iron Chef Michael Symon
Fellow countrymen and countrywomen, let America help you choose.
**
In this corner, known as B-Spot’s Staff favorite, the Symon Says burger! [Symon Says burger with bologna, coleslaw, whip sauce, American cheese 8.00]
The Symon Says Burger
And in that corner, winner of the 2010 South Beach Wine & Food Festival #1 burger in America, Fat Doug! [Fat Doug burger with coleslaw, pastrami, Swiss, mustard 8.00]
The Fat Doug Burger
(Insert loud cheering and screaming)
Lets deconstruct the parts shall we?
Bun = tie = Equally good on both. If you’re counting your carbs, slap yourself-you deserve another.
Hamburger meat = tie = Both were served with the NY ground meat from Pat La Frieda.
Hamburger meat = tie = Both cooked medium rare. Awesome.
Extra meat = Symon Says = Symon Says has fried bologna vs Fat Doug has pastrami. Pastrami is great -really nice, lean, juicy…but comparatively to bologna -it can’t win. The crispy outside of the bologna with the soft buttery insides make the mystery meat bologna a winner every time. Besides, as a child, who didn’t LOVE bologna sandwiches? If you didn’t…you were that weird kid eating his boogers in the corner of the classroom. No questions here – an easy win for fried bologna.
Cheese = Symon Says. What other burger, made in America, would even allow you to put another cheese on? Blasphemy right?
Provalone-This isn’t little Italy.
Manchego-That sounds like you’re light in the loafers.
Swiss?!?!?!? Look, don’t misunderstand me.
Swiss is nice, but it’s not Johnny-Cash-I-Walk-The-Line-John-Cougar-Mellencamp-Jack-and-Diane-Bruce-The-Boss-Springstein-Born-in-the-USA on-my-American-Cheeseburger! Look-if you want some Swiss, eat a Ricola. If you want a burger, have some good ole American Cheese.
Hello...I'm Johnny Cash
Cougar
The Boss
***Additionally the combination of bologna and gooey melted American cheese perhaps was the sentimental favorite since it was our childhood favorite.
Coleslaw = tie = Both burgers had coleslaw.
Sauces = Whip Sauce in the Symon Says. The Whip sauce creeped into the bun which made it SO much more decadent than just mustard.
Price = tie = Both burgers were $8 – same.
Overall winner = Symon Says
Now we did have a few fellow foodies write in and express their concern for not trying the Yo! burger or the Veggie burger (free bacon).
Never fear, we will evaluate those burgers when the time is right.
But until then, unless you’re unAmerican, the winner/recommendation for Iron Chef Michael Symon’s B-Spot: The Symon Says Burger
Cue the song “Proud to be an American” / Launch the fireworks / Signal the Blue Angels flyover / And fade to awesomeness
Reporting live from QuarryLaneFarms
We’ve been talking about it for quite a while now and FINALLY got a chance to take our entire staff to B-Spot. As most of you know, made famous by the TV show Iron Chef America on Food Network, Lola, Lolita, Michael Symon does not skimp on awesomeness in this small but very quaint locale…in a strip mall.
Iron Chef Michael Symon
First came the beverages…and I was already in awe.
Last time I had a bourbon beer was at the Greenhouse Tavern – it was OK. B good. But at B-Spot, the gal recommended the Lexington Brewing Company Bourbon Barrel American Strong Ale Kentucky. It is 7% alcohol, $5 for a pint, AND ON DRAFT?!?!!?? Put me in coach-PUT ME IN!
Kentucky Bourbon Barrel Ale-new favorite
I was already enjoying myself with a “beer menu” too long to comprehend. Good work Symon. This particular beer was not as sweet as some other bourbon beers I have had…which was nice since I didn’t want to drink a fruity beer with my pinky up. I honestly wanted to guzzle this superb beer…but after opening the menu, I knew had to focus on dinner.
We gazed around the place and was quite inspired by the mural on the wall of exotic beer cans. In college, we did something like this, but not quite this large scale. Thanks Mike for inviting us to help drink your decorations together. Groovy.
Decorations aka the beer shrine
Fries came first, served in a stainless steel rocks glass, fries were hot crispy and definitely well seasoned shoestringers. I personally hate when restaurants don’t salt their fries post cooking/hot…it just doesn’t stick to the fries itself. This half-assed after frying actions will force the eaters to heavily dip said fries in condiments. Just shows that the restaurant lacks the intelligence to make fries.
B-Spots’ Fries (or actually, they are Lola’s Fries) were salted with sea salt and rosemary as soon as they emerged from the Fry-o-lator 5000. When she slid the cup on the table, we caught a wiff of the rosemary. Crispy outside and well-flavored w/ salt and rosemary. Stopped us in mid sentence. These fries are just heavenly.
Lola Fries w/ sea salt and rosemary
I can’t seem to eat a burger without onion rings…that’s right, I said it – ONION RINGS. (McDonald’s: You’ve been ignoring my requests for years now – Suck it). These onion rings are real and have the actual onion in them…like first bite, pull just the onion out of the ring and burn your lower lip/chin hot. Also well seasoned w/ sea salt – nice job. On the table, there were 6 labeled bottles of dipping sauces including Cleveland own Bertman’s Mustard, plain ketcup, BBQ, balsamic steak seasoning, and (in our opinion) the winner winner ketchup sinner is the Lola Ketchup that has a nice hint of curry in it. So good.
Onion rings - I love you
Ding ding – pull your pants up as the main event is upon us.
I think I was drooling when my burger came into view. It was a short walk for our server (good thing, cause I was so freakin hungry). Oh, never mind that our waitress had a nice rack personality, I was staring at my burger.
The New York Pat La Frieda blend of beef was well prepared and seasoned well (not smushed either on the grill). The au jus from the burger dripping into the bottom bun during the 2 minute rest period-nice respect. The fried bologna separated the layer of coleslaw and whip sauce. I don’t know what whip sauce is really made of, but it could have been Elmer’s glue and I still would have eaten it. And yes, that’s the American cheese meltyness getting involved with the top bun-gooey goodness.
In my opinion, if a restaurant is offering up bologna on the menu, you should order it. Exotic? Comfort? Yes to both. And yes, I flashed back to my childhood memories with bologna and melted cheese. You would too…admit it.
The bologna acts as the buffer: If the coleslaw touched the patty, it would make the coleslaw warm and the burger cold. Not good. In this case study, the bologna acts as the referee in this burger to separate them. Such a genius idea. Maybe I should use processed meats to separate people I don’t like. Na, don’t want to waste bologna. But seriously, such a genius idea.
Was it good? It was like twins at 2am good….
Symon Says Burger - Yes sir!
Initially, I thought that the burger was smaller than a normal burger. Comparing it to the gigantor “chains” like Red Robin or Fat Burger, I believe Chef Symon made a good choice because I couldn’t eat anymore post burger, fries, beers, etc….
Something also needs to be said about the bun too. Most times overlooked, the insides soaked up all the savory goodness from the cheese to the au jus from the patty, it really did its job. The outside of the bun was not the plain cookie cutter rubber stamp sesame seed bun you get from those fast food joints. It had a bagel like shell on the outside with chewyness that we last saw in Philly Cheesesteaks at Pats or Geno’s. Great bread makes a superb sandwich. Nuff said.
Overall, our staff had a great experience stuffing our faces silly at Symon’s place. And yes, most of the staff admitted they went into food comas post dinner…typical.
Located on Chagrin Blvd in an upscale vanilla cookie cutter Americana suburbia mall, they don’t take reservations so you gotta get there early to fight off the already drunk soccer moms and their mini vans. This concept of great burgers and a bunch ton of beers to choose from is just what Cleveland needs. “In this troubled economy…” (DRINK!)
Reporting live from QuarryLaneFarms…
QuarryLaneFarms note: We did not receive any compensation from this meal in review of B-Spot. In fact, I am sure the staff didn’t know who the hell we were. Just fine with us.
QuarryLaneFarms 