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Cruising in Columbus, we found this relatively new progressive coffee-house called Zanzibar located at 740 E. Long St in Columbus, Ohio.

What the flock is a progressive coffee-house? Is that like a progressive stripper…aka nursing school student?

Heloooooooooooooooooooooo Nurse!

Oh yeah, their “Free WiFi” doesn’t work….FRAK!

No internets for you!

Oh why not…it’s 12noon, rather empty coffee-house, and I wanted a sandwich.

Hi, I would like a Reuben please…sorry we’re out.

Um, I would like a BLT please…sorry we’re just out of bacon.

Maybe…..I would like a Chicken club wrap please…sorry it’ll be another 35 minutes before I have more chicken mix

Er, I would like a Big E please…we only have the smaller lunch special…but it comes with chips

Grrrrreat.

The Big E: Oven roasted turkey and roast beef between whole wheat bread topped with provolone, cheddar loaded with red onions, mayo, lettuce, tomato and Dijon mustard.

Welcome to 3rd grade...here's your lunch

Nice grill marks on the whole wheat bread.

I opted for the mexican version of Strawberry Crush since my food looked like a 3rd graders meal w/ plain Lay’s chips.

BTW-I don’t think the toothpicks are necessary cause those small sandwiches ain’t running away.

The Big E = The Big BS

I see no provolone. Do you?

I see no roast beef. Do you?

I see no loaded red onions. Do you?

Basically, I don’t see myself eating here ever again. Do you?

Best part of the meal? Mexican Jarritos aka Strawberry Crush.

So–if you ever find yourself in Columbus, in the King Lincoln District, just drive away.

Reporting live from QuarryLaneFarms…

Back to Portland…and their bikini baristas!

That’s right, almost all Portlanders are proud of their basic two beverages: Coffee or Beer.

As we headed to meetings, something…caught the eye.

What's that pink thing over there?

Awwwww yeah, it says “Hot Bikini Brew” – The best of all my worlds.

So on a bright 88-degree unPortland sunny day, I pulled into this hazy dream shack located in a parking lot.

Hot Bikini Brew's Downtown fancy location

Obviously pleasantly surprised by the prices as they are just about equal to Starbucks prices.

Menu and prices at Hot Bikini Brew

My special Bikini Barista? Ashley. xoxo.

My Bikini Barista's tip jar (see-it's civilized)

She’s in college….she’s in nursing school….whatever.

Nice to see a smiling face with my cup of coffee.

Hot-check. Bikini-check. Brew-check.

So despite the horror stories: she was in a bikini, not naked, no happy endings…just coffee.

Hot liquids around scantily clad collegiate girls…Hmmm, they must have a great SOPs for safety huh?

And my first sip?

Coffee...it's an afternoon snack

Yups, its coffee.

So if you HAVE to change-up your daily grind and need an equally priced coffee-this place has got it all.

BTW-there are 60 other bikini espresso stands that you can visit too – just click here.

Support Portland’s local dancers college girls and get your FourSquare check-in at “Hot Bikini Brew” in Portland.

Your Father would be proud of that check in. Us too.

Travel Hard.

Reporting live from a bank line from returning all my dollar bills…

After a busy few weeks, we opted for a road trip to Chicago with our entire staff. And in our travels, on a recommendation from fellow foodies in Chicago, we opted for breakfast at Mhenry.

Mhenry in Chicago

Located on Clark, this breakfast, brunch, and lunch place is located in Mandersonville Andersonville in Chicago’s northside. Outside benches greeted us with lots of people…aka long wait. But I guess they knew of our celebrity status blog, so we were seated within 5 minutes. Bonus!

Waiting area at Mhenry

Check in desk is surrounded by a bakery with fresh-baked goodies emanating from the counter-of course I was drooling. Luckily the gal next to me admittedly was ogling the bakery fresh goodies too as we sipped on our warm coffees waiting. And no, I wasn’t drooling over her…

Bakery and Soup station and Cafe....

Upon seating, found that the restaurant was bustling for a Sunday brunch with great decor hanging from the ceiling.

Cause I'm free....Free floating...

The free-floating windows were pretty cool…but several of the patrons bumped it with their ba-dunka-dunks. Great entertainment for a Sunday brunch.

Mind your ba-dunka-dunk

Service was quick and the coffee refills came fast…which included pouring coffee from 3 ft in the air. Entertainment with food? Of course!

Chow for now

The restaurants mantra “Chow for now” is pretty awesome. Why didn’t I think of that!
 
Bacon wrapped baked eggs with polenta & mixed field greens: a savory veggie quiche filled with roasted poblano pepper, mushrooms, asparagus, shallots, goat and fontina cheese served with a field greens salad – $8.75

On a bed of lettuce

Wait, did you say bacon? Give me the money shot!

I...SEE.....BACON!

Damn-how can you go wrong when you’re wrapping polenta in bacon?

M.Henry’s home comfort brunch plate: two eggs any style with salsa verde, served w/a butternut squash & applewood bacon crepe, and cranberry cognac chicken sausage, drizzled w/a red wine syrup – $11.75

Mhenry's "home comfort brunch plate"

I have yet to meet someone who grew up with butternut squash daily in their house. So maybe just potatoes. Also your salsa verde taster isn’t much appreciated – be bold. And if you’re going to place a “home comfort” plate on your menu, I suggest you reconsider and smother some gravy somewhere. Now that’s home! “Red wine syrup”? But why? Excuse me, can I have some maple syrup please?

Pardon while I daintly eat this with my pinky up.

Huevos borrachos (drunken eggs): two of our homemade masa tortillas topped w/ scrambled chorizo anc corn, avocado slices, chihuahua cheese, poached eggs, sour cream & a choice of ou homemade red adobo sauce served w/ mexicali rice and sweet plantains – $10.75.

Mhenry's version of Kegs and Eggs

Delicious! I also like how the red adobo creeps into the rice.

Macro of the Kegs and Eggs

Sexy.

Fannie’s killer fried egg sandwich: toasted sour boule layered w/ two over-medium eggs, applewood bacon, slicked plum tomatoes, gorgonzola, & fresh thyme and served with house potatoes – $8.95.

Egg me bitches

First off, I love eggs – eggslut for sure. The fact that the two types of cheese mixed with the yolk, was just beautiful. The tomatoes were OK, but I kinda wished they roasted them slightly to give them a bit more sweet flavor.

Layering

Sourdough bread perfectly prepared and good choice in cheese too as it compliments the tomatoes and eggs.

Bite me!

The bads? No bacon. None. AAARRRUUUUGGGHHHH! WTF!

But I guess can overlook the bacon mishap since your eggs were cooked perfectly.

Ahem-let me share with you this sandwich’s virginity. First bite and squirt.

Here's the money shot - Don't move, I'll get you a towel.

Need a cigarette?

Overall, the service was great and the food was pretty dang good. Just BYOB (bacon).

And no, we’re still not passing up the Portuguese Sausage, eggs and rice.

Reporting live from QuarryLaneFarms…



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